A Song. It’s Lyrics. 

I was asked to listen to the song 《演员》by 薛之谦 the other day by an anonymous person. I supposed the person knew very well I am someone who read lyrics. 

I am not good at expressing myself so I chose to do it through using of song lyrics beautifully written by professionals. 

I chose songs to sing according to what I want to express (sometimes). I think a lot when people send songs to me. I think a lot when people sing songs to me. I think a lot when people tell me that a certain song reminded them of me. I think a lot when they say this song is mine. 

Hahahaha ^_^

Lyrics can be romantic, really romantic. 


“I am sorry” is not apologizing

You must be shocked at the title of my post. I am, myself, very shocked when I read about it. It made me realised why I never felt any better from hearing this 3 words, supposedly very important but at the same time, doesn’t had much strength.

I was reading this book “Things I Wish I’d Known Before We Got Married” by Gary Chapman. I cannot express how effective Gary Chapman’s book has enlightened me and given me quite a bit of hope. Well, a relationship takes two hands to clap, and hence, it is not enough to be from just one person.

Assuming that you have no problem apologizing for what you have done wrong. Gary Chapman went on to say that there is 5 languages of apology – Cos’ what one person considers to be an apology is not what another person considers to be an apology. That is the reason why one party may not be able to appreciate an apology from another party.

5 Languages of Apology was summarised as follows:

  1. Expressing Regret
  2. Accepting Responsibility
  3. Making Restitution
  4. Genuinely expressing the desire to change your behavior
  5. Requesting Forgiveness

For examples & cases, you may purchase his book for a thorough reading. If not, I think it isn’t too hard just by interpreting from the 5 pointers above.

Basically, when one is apologising with an “I am sorry”, this doesn’t just stop there. What’s next? You are sorry for? And so what if you are sorry? What can you do? How to prevent the same thing from happening again? What is the solution?

I have finally came to realise how important it is to not avoid problems, but to face it and discuss a viable, sustainable & implementable solution.

We have been avoiding for years. Problems surfaced, unhappiness were expressed directly but no solution implemented. Problems repeat. Unhappiness increase.

Can these problems stay as it is? No, I doubt so.


I was typing the section on managing change for an assignment. But now I wanted to pen down a conversation between WL and I about change. 

I was telling him that he needs to exercise to keep fit. Exercise to lose weight. Exercise to make the tummy smaller. Exercise to make his shoulder broader. 

He said: You are forcing me to exercise.

Yes, I am forcing him to exercise. 

Then the question came in defence: You want me to change so much, then what are you going to change? 


I am asking him to keep fit and stay healthy, for himself, for me and for the future. And the message that he received is that I wanted him to change and so I need to change as well? 

Am I so so so wrong to want him to be fit and healthy? How come it seems like it. 


About change and about me. I feel that my love language changed slightly. I am still a words of affirmation kinda person. Something which I rarely get. 

And next in line was quality time. Was. 

As I get so so so busy with my school assignments that I can hardly breathe, I am starting to appreciate action of service. 

Like when friends showed concern by wanting to share my load. It makes me feel so much better. Even if at the end of the day, I still take it upon myself. 

Everyday while I walked into my bedroom, staring at the loads of clothes that are waiting for me to iron. I just had to ignore and pretend that it isn’t there. 

I was telling WL that maybe he could help me with ironing of clothes. And he just hahaha away… I was secretly hoping that he will actually offer his help a way or another. 

Now I know why I get so mesmerised over guys who do housework 😂 especially ironing of clothes. 

Well well well……good night! 

A boyfriend

I want a boyfriend. A boyfriend who:-

  • Is loyal
  • Gives me a sense of security and stableness 
  • Decisive 
  • Can take charge as and when I require 
  • Makes good plans
  • Is decisive 
  • Is wise
  • Makes me laugh from deep within
  • Hugs me as if the world is going to collapse
  • Kisses me the way I like it to be
  • Hold me with much firmness
  • Communicate with me with his endless topics
  • Teases me & himself appropriately 
  • Doesn’t use crude languages
  • Is not defensive
  • Understands me
  • Observes me well
  • Is not clingy
  • Trusts in me
  • Has his own active and healthy lifestyle
  • Has his own friends
  • Makes me feel that he is always there for me
  • Gives me freedom

The list can go on and on, but at the end of the day, will people really bring a checklist during the selection? 

I would think one should keep it in mind to avoid getting stuck in an undesirable relationship. 

I am not alone…

I wanted to sing just this line: “I am not alone”.

I am definitely not the only person feeling stress over this semester modules and work load. Chris, similar to my case, insomnia we experienced. Dominick, he had a bad dream that made him jumped right out from his afternoon nap during lunch time. 

I got this as motivational vitamin cos I was found stoning at the ceiling and was told I looked very stress this week (must be my swollen eyes that never seems to recover): 

Skip all points and go right straight to the very last paragraph where the author said that happiness is where you live in an environment filled with love. 

And I replied, I am indeed blessed and fortunate to have those guys as my classmates and as my friends. 

Henry, who said that lady is the flower in our industry. Chris, said that Xiao Qian (that’s me) is enough, the other girls 他看不上眼 (not attracted to the other girls). Dominick, younger than me by few months and insisted of being a 哥哥 (older brother). Jim, who always ask me to go have my dinner. 

On a side note, I was about to whine why nobody offer to help me carry my 2nd bag and Jim offered right away without me having to ask. Followed by Dom, always helping me with my laptop and extra bag willingly and automatically. How nice to be pampered ☺️


They brightened up my life with lots of laughters admist our stress and worries. 

Back to School

It has been almost a week since I started school. A mixture of feelings, I had, for going back to school. A sense of familiarity with the environment yet a bit foreign towards the books.

Just last week, on my very last day of official work, I wasn’t having any form of excitement towards this sabbatical leave to further my studies. One week after, I am still not used to this emptiness within. It is not about the luxury of not having to work during weekdays. It is all about the unknown factors that are frightening.

I was re-capping the days back in my undergraduate days and expected this 9 months to be exactly the same or almost similar. However, it really isn’t the case.

Right from Day 1 of class, it dawned on me that my 6 years of working experience on post contract management ain’t going to help in any of my modules for this semester.

The lack of knowledge and experience in various domains are worrying.

This is not going to be easy.